


Our love is ephemeral

by gravityplant



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Marriage, Pining, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 13:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19974481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gravityplant/pseuds/gravityplant
Summary: Dan’s getting married, the sound of bells rings through the air, the smell of summer flowers is all around heavy, everything is perfect. Well except for the minor detail that Dan isn’t getting married to Phil.





	Our love is ephemeral

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: phuzzyphan, once again thank you for reading it <3

Phil looks over at Dan sitting there at the table beside _him_. Dan's got flowers braided neatly into a crown, delicately placed upon his mahogany curls. It's not in Dan's usual colour scheme, but he said that today is an exception, Phil had just stayed silent and Dan had side-eyed him opening his mouth to say something, probably to tease, but stopped himself last minute, downcasting his eyes.

It's a pop of colour, a spark of life in the void that is Dan. But it looks like it belongs there. But such thoughts are forbidden. Such things aren't supposed to correlate with Dan. Not the bursts of blue, yellow, purple and pink. Not when Phil had put all his thought and care into weaving it together with trembling hands for him on his big day. Not when he's getting married to someone that isn't Phil.

Dan's happy, he's laughing at the table looking over at _him_ with a sappy look adoring his gorgeous face.

When it was just Phil and Dan during their university years, they'd laid on the floor of their dorm room staring up at the ceiling. They could talk for hours on end and it never occurred to Phil. It never fucking occurred to him that he was in love with Dan before it was too late.

And now when he's watching Dan he can't help but think about how his silhouette looks like it’s in flames, how he's glowing from the sun going down behind him. His curly hair is as reckless as always, beautifully astray. His lips are puffed up and pink, his eyes are dark and cosy. But all Phil can think is how he wishes it was him who'd light a fire in those eyes every time they spotted him.

But that would never happen because Dan never fancied him. He didn't see Phil in the same light. Didn't understand when Phil gently brushed a curl out of his eyes. When he bit his lips and lifted the fragile little thing. How the texture of the stem's winded together felt scratchy and unforgiving opposed to how Dan described them as soft looking.

Dan had looked up at him and for a second and Phil had hoped, holding his breath but when nothing emerged from the never-ending darkness of his eyes, he swallowed discreetly. Brushing back his sorrow like he brushed Dan's hair despite knowing it's in vain.

He breathed out letting go of it, hearing the soft thud as it collided with Dan's head and settled. Phil stepped back. Perfect, he looked perfect as he gazed back at Phil, looking almost too pure for this world.

"How do I look?" Dan generally caring about Phil's opinion took him off guard. The harsh, stoic expression on Phil's face softens, he gives Dan a faint smile going forth to brush that curl that always seems to have a mind of its own out of his eyes afresh. Dan blinks up at him.

"What do you think I think?" Phil responds. The corner of Dan's mouth curls into a smirk, his eyes are bright and fizzy like the cola served at the table tonight.

"How am I supposed to know what you think?" Dan grimaces his face scrunching up at the nose adorably. It's aimed as a joke, Phil knows that much but it hurts anyway.

Phil almost always knows what Dan wants or feels he can see it on his face, feel it like a frequency piercing the air. How could Phil be so stupid thinking that Dan valued his opinions the same? That he ever looked for such details, even found importance in them. Phil always thought them to be connected in some way, joined-up like two stems weaved into a crown. But it seems those things are only ephemeral.

"I don't know Dan, what do you think?" It might come out harsher than intended.

Dan stares back at him however with his eyes intaking a burning glow. He juts his lip out staring back at Phil and Phil's sensing a storm of some sort or an echo of "aren’t you happy for me" ring through the room. He sighs.

"You look beautiful."

And maybe some things are meant to be short-lived. Phil once heard someone say that the most delicate and wonderful things are evanescent.

And Phil knows it has to end tonight, he can't stand being around all of this happiness, he can't take part in it without feeling guilty.

He can't even be friends with Dan anymore and Phil thinks that somewhere deep inside, beneath his bones Dan knows. It's been silently resting there for a while.

A realization that the beauty of them will forever be ephemeral.


End file.
